Before IT WAS, Now IT IS: Dealing with sudden unexpected changes in life.

I often have to scream this in my head when I find myself sulking and refusing to deal with the realities life presents, or when i'm just stuck in the ' Lord why me?' choke-hold expecting an immediate, audible response from God, that sometimes we don't hear, maybe because we did not listen or the words are drowned from the constant noise of our ever energetic thoughts.

In my short time on earth, I've had my fair share of troubles, struggles, losses, regrets, you name it. And through all this, one things has been a constant; somehow I always make it through. It may take a while, a few tears and prayers, the silent head vs heart tug of war, but God always pulls me through. Through all of this, I have only become stronger and wiser.

Before I discovered that I enjoyed writing, I always struggled with trying to figure out who I was and what my purpose was on earth. It haunted me day and night, it felt like a plague, a disease, something that I thought I was facing alone, " no one else could possibly be going through this" , I always thought to myself. 

Everyone always seemed to have it all figured out, now I believe that there are better actor and actresses walking the streets than we have in Nollywood, because I now realize that we do a really good job hiding things and putting on a good front- at least when we are in the midst of friends, colleagues, acquaintances.

As a young girl with so many insecurities at the time, I wanted to BECOME someone; to shed of everything that always seem to hold me back. You know that little pull of fear for uncertainties, or not feeling quite good enough, Maybe even not 'confident about your looks or an obvious not-so-flattering feature. The list goes on and on. 

To this add, losing a close family member just when you needed them most, numerous failed small business attempts, an extended university stay due  to random unpredictable strikes, probably studying a course you don't even like, but you had to because that was your only option to begin school with your 'mates, or better yet catch-up with the next set. Its a slippery slope leading to utter self destruction, if not managed delicately and on time. Who knows the ills that can spun from someone with all these issues stacked up against them.

All this not-so-good experiences build a huge wall, almost like a cage around us. Suddenly your easy-going childhood memories filled with games and laughter become a mirage; your friends, well what do you do with them? when nobody wants or knows how to help you. How do you even begin to dump all this baggage on someone else? 

Everybody pretends to be living the life at least most people do; the loudest group at the party; the always sharp looking babe/guy, popular friends, always an activity by the weekend. Even your regular everyday people (friends) silently become your competition unknown to you. Then comes the flashbacks, when you were the star of the movie, the centre of attraction, Just before everything started tumbling down. 

These sudden life changes can also be the loss of a child, a failed marriage, a trail of bad investments, loss of a parent or close sibling, having a special-need child or children, being disfigured from a ghastly accident... This experiences can alter our lives drastically. It takes the special grace of God to pull us through.

This brings me to the crux of this post. Everything that happens in our lives can be used as a source of inspiration and blessing to others if we can only move past ourselves and find the lessons/blessings in the middle of the chaos. It is difficult, I know. But if you are READY to learn from it and grow, it could be the one thing that God will use to change your life for good,forever.

The worst thing that happens to you, can be the one thing that propels you to your destiny. Always remember that the 'WHY' is not as important as the 'WHAT NEXT'!


Yours truly,


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